


come back when you can

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Crying, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-26
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 13:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>what if ezekiel couldn't save cas?</p>
            </blockquote>





	come back when you can

**Author's Note:**

> an alternate part of 9.03

With a flash that shines hazy at the back of Dean’s eyes, the reaper, April, is dead. And Cas is here-

Oh God, _Cas_.

Dean’s head swivells around, eyes landing on Cas’ still body, _blood, stab wound, so much blood and he’s so_ fucking _still_.

Unsteady on his feet, Dean launches himself towards the chair in which the ex-angel is slumped, broken. He does not look peaceful.

"Cas," Dean says waveringly, "Cas?" He tries again.

"Cas?!" His voice breaks as he clutches desperately at Cas’ face, feeling the damp, still-warm, _human_ skin beneath his fingers.

Dean’s heart thrums in his chest. He feels it reverberate throughout his entire body and his ears begin to ring and he can’t seem to look away from that fucking _dead_ face.

Sam is still unconscious on the floor.

"No, no" Dean whispers, brokenly, "Not like this, not now."

He no longer has control of the words crumbling and falling from his mouth.

"Cas you can’t -," Dean swallows, trying to tame his violently wavering voice. His heart pumps in his ears, "You can’t do this, we - I haven’t even - fuck."

Dean falls to his knees, does not register the crunch of his kneecaps shifting against the hard floor. It was of no consequence. Cas would still be dead. The world could be crumbling, and Cas would still be dead.

He wishes the world would crumble as he feels that it is.

Dean grasps desperately at Cas’ still knees, bowing his head, scrunching the cloth in a fist, _no_.

"We still had so much-" Dean cannot understand why he is gone, "-fuck." 

He speaks to him now as he never has before. It’s funny how many things you realise that you want to say to someone only after you can no longer do so.

"Damnit, Cas." He breathes the name.

Tears fall freely from his eyes now.

"I-," _loved you_ , “need you, goddamnit Cas.”

His body no longer feels connected to the world, he vaguely notes his brother running over with sympathetic eyes. He realises.

Dean fixes his brother with an empty glare, not really looking at him, “Save him.”

"Dean? How am I meant to-" Sam’s entire body heaves as he catches sight of Cas’ body, "Oh God. Dean - he’s. Oh _God_.”

Dean does not think.

"Ezekiel!" He yells, Sam flinches, a confused look on his face, his mouth begins to form the word _‘who?'_ when his eyes flash blue and Ezekiel emerges.

"Dean, you cannot be so reckless, Sam could’ve-"

"Shut your trap, Zeke," Dean blinks, "Bring him back. Now." 

Ezekiel seems to deflate, looking sorrowful, “Dean…I cannot. I am- not powerful enough,” the angel looks at Dean with Sam’s sympathetic eyes, “I am sorry. I know what you felt for my brothe-“

Dean springs up to face the taller creature, “There’s gotta be a way, right?” He chuckles brokenly, “He can’t just be _gone_ ," _I just got him back_.

Dean’s eyes shift and glaze over. He only just got him back. He didn’t even have a chance.

"I am very sorry." Ezekiel’s voice is far away, the ringing in his ears overpowers his voice as Dean approaches the body - Cas - once again.

"How am I supposed to do this Cas?" _Without you?_

Dean Winchester gathers the cooling body of Castiel into his arms for the last time. And for only a second, he feels whole.


End file.
